XBox Live madness

During a game of Left 4 Dead

17 Year Old: Guys, my girlfriend is going to have a baby in nine months. What should I name it if it's a girl?
12 Year Old #1: What about Amanda? That's a cool name.
17YO: Okay, what about a boy?
12YO #2: Well, what's your name?
17YO: Michael.
12YO #2: What about Michael?
17YO: Cool. Yeah.

5 minutes later...

17YO: So, like my girlfriend is like 2 to 3 days pregnant.
12YO #1: Really? Whoa.
17YO: Yeah, like right after we got done...you know...and I gave her a pregnancy test, and it was positive, like, really fast.
Me: ............
12YO #2: That is crazy, man.
12YO #1: Like, super sperm.
17YO: I know. *pause* Want to make our characters have butt-sex?
12YOs: Yeah!
*all three of them proceed to run their characters into each other...in a closet...while singing a song*
17YO: *sings* Butt sex...yeah, butt sex...I'm coming out of the closet.
Me: *repeatedly stabs self in eye with pencil*