Things I Hate Part 1

I hate a lot of things in this world. I've decided to share. These are in no particular order. I waste time hating things, but I don't waste time in ranking them.


Thing I Hate #1



You might want to get tested. I hear VD can be transmitted through photos.

Bret Michaels was once a very famous rock star. He had a fantastic hair band. He was taken seriously--or as seriously as a hair band lead singer can be taken. HOWEVER, he has destroyed any semblance of dignity with his hideous show on VH1 titled "Rock of Love," wherein his Mighty Skankiness tries to "find love" among a group of ragged, slutty women. Beyond that, the show features Bret, a diabetic, drinking and boozing it up and eating the worst possible food that a diabetic can eat. He goes on and on about how he loves "confident, sexy women" yet those confident sexy woman are always voted off the show in favor of girls who take confident and sexy to mean the same thing as "dirty, dirty ho bag skank whore monster." This season, the third of the show, features the biggest array of silicone enhanced trash I have ever seen. The damn thing started in Louisville, and I am ashamed.

He looks like a Ken doll. He wears bandanas to hide his massively reduced hairline, and the hair he does have is either so greasy you could fix a squeaky wheel with it, or all golden and flowing like a woman's. You just look at him and feel dirty. Excuse me while I go scrub my eyeballs. UNTIL THEY FALL OUT.

My mother loves this man. She saw him in concert last year and will show the pictures of her with him to anyone who will look at them. I refused to touch her until she took three showers and used an entire bottle of hand sanitizer. Blech.


Thing I Hate #2



I have no idea what made these abominations popular. They were fine when they were in the garden or used as shower shoes by college students wanting to avoid the hideous amalgamation of germs inside public showers. But when they were taken SERIOUSLY by people and worn IN BROAD DAYLIGHT...it has gone too far.

Throw away your Crocs. They are hideous. You look stupid wearing them. THEY ARE FOAMY PLASTICY SHOES. They are the red-headed stepbrother of Jellies. It's just bad.


You can match them with every outfit. But why would you want to?

And worse...someone has created ACCESSORIES for Crocs. They actually have a name. They are called Jibbitz, and whoever it was that invented them should be punished by having to wear them ALL THE TIME.


$2.25 for this crap?!?

So, not only can you look like a dumbass while wearing your Crocs. You can be commerical and show off how much you love Hello Kitty, Spongebob, and the whores in training, The Bratz. Lovely! Teach your kids it's okay to be a whore AND look like a dumbass.


I'm fairly certain an adult did this which frightens me.

Crocs are acceptable on children and women working in gardens and college students hoping to avoid foot fungus. NO ONE ELSE. Understand? So if you have Crocs and you are not one of the above listed things GET RID OF THEM.

Or else...


If you wear Crocs, escalators will eat your feet. They hate them that much.