At this point in my life, I'm really uncomfortable with my weight, and I've taken steps to try to change that. I've given up fast food, and I've got 20 days without it under my belt. (YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS. I LOVE MCNUGGETS OM NOM NOM.) I'm starting to eat better, and less, and it's slow, but I'm going to stick with it.
However, no matter what size I am, and I have been many different sizes in my life, I hate buying clothes. I HATE IT. I especially hate buying jeans. I'm usually reduced to tears in the span of a few minutes. I'm short, I have a short waist, and I have no ass at all, and so finding jeans is ridiculously hard for me. I managed to find a pair a few months ago, but they no longer fit. YAY, but GRR. I've been gutting it out, wearing a belt and such, but the prospect of buying another pair of a jeans just made me want to crawl into bed and sleep for DAYS.
I also have trouble because while I don't feel I'm hideously obese just yet, I'm still large in the belly and shoulder/arms area. The problem comes with the upper girlie parts area. I can't find clothes that fit in both places. They either fit great everywhere but upper girlie parts, or they fit my upper girlie parts and then nowhere else. It's so exhausting to try and find things that look good and are comfortable. So, I usually don't. I've lived my life in t-shirts, and I LIKE IT THAT WAY.
At some point, a girl has to go OMFG STOP WEARING CLOTHES A TEENAGER WOULD WEAR.
Today, my sister and I went to use her Target gift card she got for Christinamas, and to make some pictures of Maggie from a memory card. While in Target, I was going to find a new purse--as I don't carry them for longer than three months, and I've been carrying my Cobra Commander bag for four OMFG THE SHAAAAME--and Mook was going to buy it for me. HOORAY AND REJOICE! I should have known better. Besides the fact that everything in Target was SUMMER or LEATHER, as soon as Mook found some shirts she liked, she withdrew her offer to pay for my new purse, and I was left holding the new scarf I found going WTF.
We're browsing some clearance, and IGNORING THE FACT THAT IT WAS A MATERNITY DRESS, I found *GASP* A DRESS. I don't wear dresses! I don't even OWN a pair of shorts! But I saw this dress, and I LOVED IT, and I NEEDED IT. So we went to the dressing room, I tried it on, and, of course, it didn't fit right. I was crushed. I was absolutely defeated. I was getting into the mood that makes my sister want to choke me with fashion scarves. We wandered over to the shoe aisle because Mook has been searching in vain for a new pair of boots, and I was trudging, completely resigned that I would be a gelatinous shrew who can't find clothes for the rest of my life.
AND THEN I SAW THEM.
There they were, sitting on a shelf with a big sticker that said CLEARANCE, and it was like a light came down from heaven and said BROOKE! DO NOT THINK YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A GELATINOUS SHREW! HERE IS SOME ENCOURAGEMENT. BUY THESE.
And I kid you not, as I stood there, staring at them in wonder and awe, the only thing that came into my head was the following:
Yeah, they're on the toilet. SO WHAT?
I have NEVER in my LIFE worn a pair of high heels, but BY GODGA I WILL LEARN.
Even in a crooked picture, THEY ARE AMAZING.
I almost broke my neck trying them on, but I CAN LEARN THAT SHIT. Of course, these things cannot come without some raincloud on the horizon. They had them in my alleged shoe size, which is 8, but they did not fit. I started to hyperventilate, but then I found a pair of 9's, and when I say my alleged shoe size is 8, that means I actually wear a 7, but my foot is so wide that I have to wear an 8 because a 7w just doesn't cut it. I put them on, and HOORAY, THEY FIT.
Now, the price. *SIGH*
Oh, YOU KNOW IT. THEY WERE ON CLEARANCE FOR 8 BUCKS. EIGHT DOLLARS FOR THESE MAGNIFICENT SHOES!
After Mook let me use the balance of her gift card, I PAID $1.97 FOR THESE BABIES.
We had to go and find a skirt for me to wear with these monsters because my jeans are too short, or so Mook claims, and that is where we got into trouble. I am trusting you, my lovely flist, to never tell this secret that I am about to reveal to you. It's hard for me to admit this, but I'm going to do it because I feel like I can trust you, and you won't make fun of me.
I spent $100 on the MILEY CYRUS line of clothes at Wal-Mart.
I'll wait for you to stop laughing.
THESE CLOTHES ARE AMAZING. I am a fat girl with huge boobs, and they look GREAT on me. GREAT. AND EVERYTHING WAS ON CLEARANCE. Plus, I found a pair of jeans that fit and look good IN ONE TRY. FOR $18.
Then we got CORN DOGS for dinner on the way home.
THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER.
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