Work = FAIL

Me: 911, where is your emergency?
Woman: [blah blah blah street]
Me: Okay, what's going on?
Woman: My house got broken into. The front door is broken a little.
Me: All right, have you noticed anything missing yet?
Woman: Well...yes.
Me: ...okay, what's missing?
Woman: This is going to sound so crazy, but I'm OCD. I'm a hoarder, and somebody came into my house and stole all of my food.
Me: ...
Woman: I mean, it's all gone. Who would do this to somebody?
Me: *trying so hard not to laugh* Okay, is there anything else missing?
Woman: Well, I took my trash out yesterday and there was only a little in the can this morning when I left, and now that is gone, too.
Me: (O.O) Someone took your trash?
Woman: Well, took it out. There's an empty bag in it now, but the trash is gone.
Me: I'm not sure that I've ever heard anything like this.
Woman: I know! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't be laughing!
Woman: Why not? It's really funny. AHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: Okay, so it's just the food and the trash then?
Woman: AHAHAHA, yes. They took everything. Even my mustard packets from the drawer where I save them.
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA!
Woman: You must think I'm so crazy!
Me: No, no, not at all.