Good-bye, Doggy Man Parts

My sister got a puppy a few days ago. Her name is Maggie, and she is a lovely girl. She's so fat that she waddles, and she sort of just lays around, but she is so cute that it's not even funny. However, a problem quickly...ahem, arose. Snoop has never spent much time around girl dogs, and in a matter of minutes, that was very obvious. He got a bit overexcited, and it was hideously gross.

My dog is a child molester. The shame.

Maja always said that if Snoop did the dirty motion that I had to get him fixed. I have never been a believer in altering dogs. I live in a town where we don't have to by law, so I said that I never would. What good comes from altering a dog that stays inside? He's not going to get out and impregnate any wandering females. Everyone says that it will calm him down, but this is the way he was made, and this is the way that I like him.

Now, he has an appointment on Tuesday morning to have his man parts taken off, and I'm not dealing with it very well. I feel like a hypocrite. I promised him, "Snoop, I will never take away your manhood!" and he looked at me like, "Finally, you do something right." I have to now take him to that horrible place and have him put under and cut open, and it's just tearing me apart. I've asked Maja to go to work late that day so she can go with me. I cannot look at my sweet boy's face as I walk out of there and leave him to be mutilated. I just can't. I don't think I'll be able to sleep that night knowing that he is in a strange place, surrounded by strange people and strange animals. He won't have his babies, his blanket, or me to play Snuggly Bears with, and it is eating me up from the inside like a tapeworm.

All of this because Moo, WHO WILL BE HAVING A BABY IN THREE MONTHS, wanted a puppy. YES, that is JUST what a pregnant girl needs.

Don't worry. I have better taste than to post a picture of Snoop with his manly parts hanging out all over the place. I thought about it, but no, I will spare you.

To make it worse, the vet tried to be funny to make me feel better. I asked about after-care, and she said that if he's a biter and a licker and it becomes a problem with his stitches, "Just stick a pair of little boy's underwear on him. Turn them around and stick his tail out through the pee hole." And then she laughed all "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I just went -_- and tried not to cry.

So long, Snoop's Manly Bits. You never realized your full potential. Farewell.