Death in the Family

Death is a weird thing. I don't have a lot of experience with it. My dad's sister died a few years ago, but that situation was gross and weird. I didn't cry. I didn't love her. I'm being honest with I say that. We barely knew her, and what we did know of her was that she was an alcoholic who abandoned her children. It's hard to love someone like that.

Then last year, my great-grandmother died. I loved her very much, but since we don't live near the rest of Maja's family, it's hard to get really upset. I cried. I was upset, yes, but not devastated. She had a long wonderful life, and that is more than most can hope for in this world. Maja was destroyed, and that is the hard part for me. I don't like watching her in pain.

Maja's step-mother died yesterday. She's never called her her step-mother, and she was always just my grandfather's wife. Again, I wasn't sure if it was all right to feel the way I was feeling. I was upset for my maja, who was upset because her father was upset. She's flying out to CT tonight, and I'll be without her until Saturday, and that is hard for me. I'm weird about her being gone. Hopefuly it will be all right.